My son is now 8 and still in an Autism classroom that is 3^rd-5^th grade. At this point, I thought he would be in a regular class, talking my ear off and running around with the kids in our neighborhood. Some days this really gets to me and other days I am so thankful to God that he is thriving, making small victories and running around with his friends at school.  I try to pull these positive visions out whenever I get that, “Why is he not where the neurotypical kids are yet feeling,” especially since his older brother never went through dealing with ASD.

As a mom of two boys, one being neurotypical and the other with ASD, it can be challenging to resist comparing the different milestones of each child, but it is essential that we do.  That goes for all children, even those who are not on the spectrum, because each child has distinct abilities. I “get” that there are indicators of “where children should be academically and socially as we grow,” but we must also look at their individual strengths and talents as well.

I am diligently working on this, so that I always look at my younger son in his own unique light.  It’s a little easier for me because my sons are not close in age, but I have friends who have kids that are twins or one year apart and that can get difficult.

One point I noticed about my older son and my friends’ children is that they have been great in embracing their sisters and brothers on the spectrum.  They try hard to support them in every way possible and in our family, my younger son loves everything about his older sibling and tries to learn from him.

Even at school, I see this happening with my son and some of the neurotypical kids, especially the older ones.  They look out for him. These children explain to those who don’t know that he has ASD, that he may need a little more assistance with a variety of matters at school.  I remember being very cautious about this because I was concerned about how other kids might treat him. I’ve learned that there will always be children who do not understand but there are many that do and will help our kids.

As the numbers of Autism have increased, parents must keep in mind that our children are the lights that shine, to help society understand more about the disorder. Siblings and other children are embracing our kids on the spectrum and as parents, we must continue to do the same. Our children have capabilities beyond our dreams and it is essential that we support those gifts. Families and communities must look at each child in their own exceptional light and let them flourish as God intended.